Zeba Iqbal Opens up about Relationships and Community Leadership

Zeba Iqbal: It was not inspiration; it was my big mouth [laughter]. In the beginning I got involved pretty peripherally. But I soon realized the importance of Muslim professionals.  I felt Muslim professionals had to be part of the conversation about American Muslim identity, and that CAMP could help Muslim professionals realize their value, and also promote identity integration. I have to say inspiration-wise that a great deal of my work with CAMP is my way of honoring my parents and my parents’ generation. Their commitment to the American Muslim community before I was born and when I was growing up – was deep and unconditional. They wanted us to know and love Islam, but they also wanted us to know and love Muslims. I try my best to live by their example, and to give back in meaningful ways.

Elan:  You are at Princeton now, but you worked for ten years in corporate America. What was it like to be a Muslim woman in corporate America?

ZI: No one really knew I was Muslim at work. Although I fasted every year, I used to pray in the office, but they never really connected the dots. Post 9/11 they all realized I was Muslim and in a very supportive way…people were very very forthcoming in asking questions about Islam, about Muslims, what we believe.  And suddenly I became an ambassador and a spokesperson for my faith. I felt unprepared for that…I think the biggest challenge I faced in corporate America, and many women will tell you same thing was my gender. And if there were any challenges to being Muslim it was more about being a minority—or non-white.

Elan:  What are some of the challenges for American Muslim professionals that you’ve seen?

ZI: Often with young professionals who are married the question becomes where do they find time to spend together? Where do they find time to work on their marriage? We find that when both husband and wife are on an upward trajectory in their professional lives, neither one of them wants to get off, nor should they and so staying married becomes an issue. And for a lot of younger professionals, getting married in the first place is a big problem too…I don’t know why there is a challenge but for whatever reason people are delaying marriage and are not able to decide on the ‘right ‘person for themselves…You know we quote the sunna of the Prophet and talk about the importance of marriage, but there is a disconnect between what we see around us and what we know religiously.

Elan:  What has been your personal experience with regard to finding a spouse, being a Muslim single woman?

ZI:  I’ve met a lot of people but it has never really worked out, and I’ve never understood exactly why. I hope I’ve done all the right things with regard to trying to meet the right person, and being sincere in those efforts.  But I think there is a challenge for Muslim women in this country. A lot of us are the first generation of working women in our families…and I want to be my mother (successful homemaker) and my father (successful professional) at the same time…Its hard to be everything in one.  So in trying to be both those people sometimes we’re told we’re too aggressive or that we’re too strong; and that that’s not attractive, or it’s intimidating.

Elan:  What do you think our way forward is as modern American Muslim women?

ZI: I think as both men and women there has to be an effort to bridge gaps and to try and understand where the other person is coming from. There is an active dialogue about this on the internet, but I think that there is a time for public dialogue and there is a time for private discourse… So just as an example there are a lot of instances where Muslim women are marrying outside of the community. That’s really a personal decision between those two people and their families. But every time we try to bring marrying outside the religion into the public sphere of dialogue whether its at an event or in an article, there is a lot backlash.  Instead of seeking solutions, there is a great deal of judgment in the community. Bottom line, there is a problem here….how are we going to solve it? We have a whole generation at risk, at risk of not getting married. These are important conversations. We just need to have more open and honest dialogue, where the goal is not win-lose, but win-win and the betterment and strength of the community.

Elan:  What advice would you give to the next generation of American Muslim professionals—the new CAMP members so to speak?

ZI: What I would say is, work hard. And don’t be disheartened… This is a tough economy, and a tough time for Muslims in America absolutely, but your hard work will pay off.  And if you’re a young professional, under 30 this is the time you really need to work hard at your technical skills…no one is indispensable but try to be indispensable. Be that ‘go to’ person at work. And if you are more senior in your career, then start thinking about the ways that you can take your talent and your skill your expertise and how you can amplify them.  Ask, how can you strengthen yourself? How can you strengthen your community?

Elan:  For 2012 do you have a motto or a resolution that you’re taking on?

ZI: My motto for 2012 is to just to be more conscious. Be more conscious of my time, of my priorities, of everything.  I am putting myself on a financial plan, I’m putting myself on a nutrition plan (laughter) the past few years, not just because of CAMP but because of all the work and involvement I’ve had in different things, I feel like I have had no time for myself—and I was lax about a lot of things that are important to me. And I just need to be more disciplined and more conscious of my life. Time passes so quickly.

*Photography by YusefRamelize.com